Thursday, December 03, 2009
The holiday season has a great soundtrack, but for every ten truly great songs there is always one that resembles a lump of coal. This list is my collection of six songs that should never be played on the radio between Thanksgiving and New Year's ever again.
I have come up with six songs that give me an ear ache every time I hear them. Let me know what you think.
6. Santa Baby, Madonna
For starters, I always hated the entire song "Santa Baby," but the Madonna version seriously drives the song off a cliff like the locomotive in Back to the Future Part III. And let's be honest. Did anyone ever think Madonna was an angel any year back in her prime?
5. Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas", John Denver
A song about painful childhood memories of a father coming home drunk and causing havoc on the family Christmas. So joyous it could only be sung by those who like country music.
4. Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Bruce Springsteen
Living in a region that is polluted with music fans who will shout out long cheers of "BRUUUUCE" as often as you will hear "E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!" this may not come across as a popular decision. But Springsteen is the most over-rated, over-hyped musicians I have ever heard. With that I present to you #4 on my list.
3. Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey, Lou Monte
You know Dasher and Dancer, Donner and Blitzen... and introducing Dominick the Donkey? I don't know what's worse about this one. The fact that Dominick is important because the reindeer (who should be able to fly) can't climb the hills of Italy or the constant "Hee-Haw" of the donkey getting stuck in my head every time I hear this one!
2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Elmo and Patsy
Country twang? Check.
Calling out Grandma for being a drunk? Check.
Debating (and deciding) to take dead Grandma's presents back in exchange for money? Check.
What else do we need to cover here?
1. Christmas Shoes, NewSong
I realize that some may consider this song great, but when it comes to holiday music I think upbeat and fun songs. Every time I hear Christmas Shoes I can not help but feel depressed. I am not depressed because of the usually touching story in the lyrics, but because there are people who actually enjoy this song.
Maybe there is a personal connection for many people with this song, but to me a good Christmas song does not talk about a sick mother on her death bed.