Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that
he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW'
problems.


OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.


COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...


ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will
remain against it.


NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me
any insider information.


DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.


GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was
good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.


ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part
of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will
never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?


AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!


COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?


DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?


AL SHARPTON :
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


MR. SPOCK :
Did the chicken cross the road? If he crossed the road certainly he had no reason to as a chicken as it would mean expending more effort than the food he would find on the other side could provide the energy for. If he crossed the road.... that can only mean that Colonel Sanders was close behind and closing in on him. Captain- if we can approach Colonel Sanders from the correct approaching angle, we may stop him from strangling the chicken. *looks pensive, then checks Captain*.


PETE ROSE :
I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.


JACK NICHOLSON :
'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.


CAST OF LOST :
Jack Sheppard: I don't know, maybe the chicken was just moving in that direction. Why does it have to mean anything that it crossed the road?
John Locke: The Island demanded that the chicken cross at that moment.
Sawyer: Why are you so interested in the damn chicken, Colonel Sanders? Tired of mangos?
Sayid, calmly: I know more about chickens and the use of them crossing roads than I care to remember. I don't know what is more disturbing. The fact that that chicken has crossed the road, or that it has only three toes.
Early Shannon: Oh my God, why should we care if the chicken crossed the road or not? It has nothing to do with us.
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: Dude, did you see a chicken come this way?